Caption contest #11 – vulture on my desk

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FIRST PLACE

venture capital or vulture capital?

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<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-venture-capital.png" alt="vulture capital" border="0"></a><br>More fun at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

A few words with winner Joan Carter of San Francisco:

What do you do for a living?: I’m a principal technical writer for Oracle.
 
Has your sense of humor ever helped you on the job?: Every day! Technical writing is fraught with stress, resulting mostly from it’s unending cycle of deadlines. The other writers on the team and I keep each other from imploding with far-flung and funny IM exchanges.
 
Ever used humor in a job search?: Wish I could say yes, but, no. The few times I’ve tried writing peppy, upbeat cover letters have been met with chilling silence. I suppose that in itself is funny.
 
What’s your best advice for jobseekers?: After a while, the vigorous stream of advice that everyone gives you on your resume yields diminishing returns. Think of the old man and his son trying to get their donkey to market.
 
The first person they meet chides them for walking when one can ride. The second chides them for letting youth ride while age walks. The third for their slow pace when the donkey could easily accommodate the weight of the boy as well as the man. The fourth for tiring the animal out and lowering its worth.
 
Finally, the old man and his son tie the donkey’s legs together, slide a pole through, and carry the it along, swinging between them. They come to a bridge, and the donkey swings out so far, the men lose their balance and pitch the bound donkey into the wild river below, where it drowns. This illustrates that, if you let everyone tell you how to get your donkey to market, you’ll wind up losing your ass.
 
What do you find funny and not funny about a job search?: Funny, how everyone has an opinion about that resume, which opinions are often in conflict; not funny, the potential for serious financial hardship while unemployed.
 

SECOND PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-dead-meat.png" alt="alternative to firing staff cartoon" border="0"></a><br>More job cartoons at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

THIRD PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-boss-just-flew-in.png" alt="my boss is a vulture cartoon" border="0"></a><br>More career cartoons at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

FOURTH PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-you-are-fired.png" alt="you know you've been fired when..." border="0"></a><br>More job fun at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

FIFTH PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-today-doesnt-look-good.png" alt="today doesn't look good for me cartoon" border="0"></a><br>More workplace comedy at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

SIXTH PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-paramedics.png" alt="there's a vulture on my desk, send the paramedics cartoon" border="0"></a><br>More work cartoons at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

SEVENTH PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-life-insurance-policy.png" alt="life insurance cartoon" border="0"></a><br>More career laughs at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

EIGHTH PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-job-is-eating-me-alive.png" alt="this job is eating me alive - cartoon" border="0"></a><br>More employment cartoons at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

NINTH PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-early-retirement.png" alt="memo from the boss about early retirement" border="0"></a><br>More work fun at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

10TH PLACE

<a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/caption-contest-11/" target="_blank"><img src="http://academy.justjobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/vulture-down-sizing.png" alt="down-sizing cartoon" border="0"></a><br>More job comedy at <a href="http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest">http://academy.justjobs.com/cartoon-caption-contest</a>

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  • ChrisD

    Hello? Mr. Jackson? This is Mr. Murphy from the employment agency. I think we just found your next employee relations director.

  • I.T.

    Hold on honey, your mother is here!

  • larry g.

    “I’ll get the shopping list later-the IRS just dropped in.”

  • Lin B

    The first buzzard is here to get his piece of the pie….

  • Ana

    I understand the company’s trying to cut costs, but I think I need a new secretary…

  • Sonia

    Yeah…, I’ll have to call you back..I got someone looking for Spider-Man.

  • “I get the feeling that decision would kill your job prospects…call it a hunch.”

  • shelbo86

    Person on the other end of the phone: “Well Joe, at least he’s not circling”

  • Eric Pitty

    Okay, kids, I get it. I’ve got to renew my life insurance policy….

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